Pastor as Thief

[mzobec]

„The bonding and loyalty that develops between a flock and the one who spends the most time with them can create a temptation to walk away with them. When the guard becomes the enemy, the flock is in deep trouble“. This quote maneuvers in the mucky waters of the two contrasts trust and control or faithfulness and infidelity. And it shows clearly the responsibility of the shepherd to never stray away from the heartbeat of his people.
We have witnessed in our youth program how a once trusted leader was surprisingly identified as a dangerous predator. His removal was painful, irritating and left scars on the youth ministry. It took a while to bounce back from this situation. On the other hand it heralded in a new time of health and inward changes that would have been impossible with this person being involved.
Wolfes: This is the danger Paul warned the church of Ephesus about in Acts 20. I myself find it hard to work under the assumption that these people are really „among us“. For someone who likes to trust and loves to equip others, this unnerving truth puts doubter’s seeds in my heart. And honestly, just when is it truly okay to label someone an „Acts 20 savage wolf“? I fear that some use it inflationary and some do not register this danger all.
On a personal level - and this is where the Day 26 devotional was heading to - I was convicted by following words: „Becoming a wolf only takes a combination of skepticism and time.“ The pastor can be in danger of stealing the flock he has been given by God. I sense the danger of false humility, timidness, cynicism, and a lack of conviction in my ministry. I need time to examine my shifts in values, theology and approach to counseling.
In order to be an able protector of my flock, I need to protect my own heart and I need people to walk the length of the way with me. While I can be a very cheerful person, I also feel the weight of leadership sometimes. And it does weigh me down. I realize - sometimes too late - that I have not been protecting my inner man, with the result that my inner wolf was strengthened. In the „Niebelungenlied“, the legend of Siegfried, is where I find myself sometimes, just on opposite ends. Siegfried bathed in the blood of the dragon he has slain, protecting his whole body from harm, except the spot where a small leaf landed on his shoulder. Sometimes I feel like my whole body is a single invitation to Satan to attack me because, in contrast to Siegfried I only have one spot where I let the blood of the Lamb protect me. The rest of me seems defenseless at times. I need to remind myself that the armor of God (Eph 6) can be strapped on and be taken off. Making myself defenseless does not happen on accident but is a deliberate act. So is protection!