It's Not Easy

[corinthpastorbob]

Day 39 relates to two pastoral experiences from yesterday.

Thursday is generally my study day. I retreat into my old office, now used as a Sunday School room, and concentrate on exegesis, commentaries, and sermon outline if not manuscript. That's the goal for Thursdays - to be at least 50-75% ready for the Sunday sermon. Then I take Friday off and finish up on Saturday.

That didn't happen yesterday. I spent three hours in the morning at Hospice with a member of the church who was dying. and her family We sat quietly, we sang, we prayed, we talked, we planned ahead. Much of the time I was just there. I couldn't make it better when her "death rattle" sent tears streaming down her daughter's cheeks - although the Hospice nurses did help. I couldn't go get the doctor out of a meeting when they wondered when he would come. And, most of all, I couldn't give any answers as to why she declined so quickly when this time last year they all would have thought they had many years to look forward to together. All I could do was "be there." Even then, I had to tag team and leave a lay "Stephen Minister" with the family for an hour, followed by the Associate Pastor who stayed the afternoon,. She didn't die until after 6:00.

When I got back to my office after noon, I was faced with a mountain of tasks that should have been done the day before, but that was Ash Wednesday - and in our church that meant an extra service for which to prepare worship and preaching. So Wednesday tasks were pushed to Thursday afternoon. My study day was shot - and Saturday will now include funeral preparation. I was still involved in those tasks when a woman stopped by the office spontaneously to see me. I normally would have had my door shut (a clue to my staff not to disturb me), but some of what I was doing required their interaction. This particular person, by her own admission, is quite talkative - and I knew based on a prior e-mail exchange that what she wanted to talk about was not urgent. So when the Office Manager asked if I could see her for a few minutes, I answered no. She later wrote an e-mail and said I was "too busy" and needed to be more available to people who come by.

"Being there" for everyone is hard some days.