Does Broken Equal Fruitful?

[Matthew Blanchard]

"Like a lion he breaks all my bones." -- Is.38:13 (ESV) -- I think of two songs, "what if blessings come through rain drops and what if healing comes through tears" and "whatever my lot thou has taught me to say, it is well with my soul." My view of love and grace is shallow and skewed. It is with 100% love and grace that God tears to shreds like a lion. What if my life ends up being full of pain, loss, and heartache. Will I consider my faith in Him to have been worth it?
You see, no matter how much I learn, there is still a part of me that hopes, yearns, seeks for a relationship with God based off of reciprocity. God will give my wants = I give Him what He wants. What if I never get a pastorate opportunity again, what if I never finish seminary, what if.....
Am I at a point where I can say, shatter my bones, scatter the pieces abroad, when they fall let them become seeds that will grow healthy fruit? Am I willing to be broken for something greater than myself, or as Oswald Chambers writes "to be the broken bread and poured out wine."