Sacrifice what?

[Jamie]

I struggled with this meditation. There is a beautiful truth here – perfectly modeled by Jesus, of course – of the shepherd daily laying down his life for the flock. (Again, even though Jesus sacrificed himself for his followers, he did not do it at the expense of his own relationship with Father – he frequently withdrew by himself to pray, etc.) But the dark side of this truth is when pastors sacrifice their own well-being (and their families’!) on the altar of ministry, “for the sake of the Kingdom.� I’ve just seen and heard too many horror stories along these lines. Obviously, there is a tension here. I believe most pastors who are genuinely called to ministry sincerely desire to serve and sacrifice themselves for the people they lead. Some do it in healthy ways and some don’t. It just seems so typical of evangelicalism to justify an ecclesiastical workaholism – after all, it’s “for the Kingdom.� I’m not sure what the answer is here, but it may be helpful if you nuance your remarks here a bit. One of the reasons I have stepped away from the pastorate –at least, temporarily – was because I found it increasingly difficult to balance the responsibilities of shepherding a large flock with those of shepherding my own ewe and three little lambs. (Again, I’m reminded of Mark Driscoll’s requirement for church-planters: first show that you can shepherd the little flock, then you get a shot at leading the big flock.) In my opinion, the contemporary American church model just seems to feed this unhealthy dynamic – board meetings, capital campaigns, public appearances, hospital visits, pastoral counseling, administrative responsibilities, classes, preaching, weddings, funerals… It’s no wonder that so many pastors – especially those with “messiah complexes� – get burned out so quickly. Surely there must be a better way.
And yet I also recognize the strong current within evangelicalism that practically makes an idol of the nuclear family – all of our talk about “family values,� etc. So we seem somewhat schizophrenic – on the one hand, many of us practically abandon our families in order to “do ministry� while others of us – to put it crudely – place our families above God. But Jesus was clear about Kingdom priorities: “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves a son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.� (Matt. 10.37) Notice that he says, “loves…more than me,� not “loves…more than ministry!� But still, I struggle with these words. Sometimes I find myself even wishing Jesus hadn’t said them!