I am a pastor. But who am I?

[qzhang]

As a pastor, I have identity crisis from time to time. I am not questioning my calling-I know I was called by God to serve in His Church. I have been perplexed, however, about my identity as a pastor: what is the essence of my calling? What should I do or shouldn’t I do? What is the relationship between me and the congregation?
These confusions often intensify when I face people’s different expectations and endless ministry demands.
I am very thankful for Dr. Laniak’s book. It helps me draw a clearer picture of my pastoral identity. Here are some of my key reflections inspired by the book:

1.) The quest for pastoral identity is a life-long process.
Has the pastoral identity be fully covered by the “Shepherd” image? The answer is “No”. God is too big to be fully comprehended. The very fact that God has many Names in the Bible speaks for itself. According to Dr. Laniak, we should not expect (the shepherd image) to provide an exclusive or exhaustive presentation of divine attributes and behaviors(P250). In other words, the search for pastoral identity will be a life-long journey through Bible study and serving God.

2.) I am an under-shepherd
I am not the Chief Shepherd. There is only one Chief Shepherd-Jesus Christ(P109). I am one of the many under-shepherds(P249). We were called and entrusted by God to look after His sheep(P247). This identity of under-shepherd has many implications. Here are two of them:
Firstly, we need to be God’s sheep ourselves, following Him closely(John 21:19), and seeking to fully understand His heart(Jer. 3:15). Secondly, we do not own the sheep. We cannot do whatever we like about the sheep. We are the stewards, who are expected to faithfully take care of the sheep according to God’s will(John21: 15-17), even to the degree of death(John 10:15).

3.) The nature of my Calling
Historically, God has been using human agents to fulfill His Divine purpose(P87-88). By His Mercy, I was called to be one of His under-shepherds. I recognized this solemn Calling. I also accepted this Calling with obedience, joy and thanksgiving. This calling is confirmed by the Holy Spirit, and recognized by the Church(Acts 20:28). The Holy Spirit bestowed me with the gift of pastoring, so that I can serve His Church for a greater purpose(Eph.4:11). By faith, I am willing to suffer with and for Christ when shepherding His sheep(P129: Biblical leadership is to serve and to suffer. Also the theme in 1 Peter). With hope, I know that I will receive the unfading crown of glory in Eternity by Christ Jesus(1Peter 5:2-4).
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Peter Zhang