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peterlim23



Joined: 03 May 2010
Posts: 20
Location: Roswell, GA

PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 10:46 pm    Post subject: My Desert Reply with quote

Just about a year ago, I experienced a personal "desert." On March 27, 2010, as a 36 year old, I was rushed into emergency open heart surgery for a massive blood clot in the pulmonary artery of my heart. This surgery is so rare that even today, only 1 in 4 patients survive the procedure. By all medical explanations, I should be dead. Most people who have a blood clot in the pulmonary artery just keel over and die. It is one of the leading causes of sudden death. The fact that I made it into the operating table is a miracle in and of itself. The fact that I came out of the heart surgery alive is still another miracle. A couple of days after my open heart surgery, I had to have another major surgery to remove additional blood clots lodged in the artery of my right leg. The chances of me losing my leg because of this surgery was extremely high.

One year later, I am alive, still breathing, full of life, walking with both legs and most importantly still being a husband and a father to my two children. However, during the recovery period after my two major surgies was the most physically excruciating period of my life. Simple things like trying to walk, to talk, to lie down, to sit up, were all agonizing. For three months, I was unable to do much. As soon as I was beginning to get physically better, I had additional road blocks. In the 8 month that followed my initial open heart and leg surgery, I had two additional surgies to close a hole in my heart and then to deal with an infection that prevented my chest to heal properly. In all, I had 4 surgies within a 9 month period.

This was truly my personal desert. I was reminded of my mortality and my insufficiency in a very big way. However, it was during this period, in particular the first 3 months of recovery that I had clung onto God in a way that I never did before. God in a real way was my source of life, my subsistence. When I read, "the wilderness is a place of dependent, disciplined, purifying solitude where God must be trusted. Deserts bring people quickly to the end of their self-sufficiency and independence," it brought chills to me because that was exactly what March - December of 2009 was. It was indeed a physically painful and emotionally stretching time. However, I am very thankful for this period because it did bring me closer to God because it finally ended my self-sufficiency and independence.
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