Having a heart for ministry

[Kimberly Kiefer]

“One of my common questions was, “What does it take to be a shepherd?” One of the most memorable responses came from a Jordanian Bedouin, Abu-Jamal. Sitting together in his tent, he contemplated before answering. “What really matter is that you have the heart for it.”” page 29, Day 2, Provision

I really appreciated the answer, “that you have the heart for it.” My professional life includes being a Law Enforcement Officer. In 2009 I discerned God was calling me to be a Law Enforcement Chaplain. As I moved through the Ordination process, in a mainline denomination, there were many on the committees and boards that could not grasp my calling. I was “out of the box” because I was not called to a traditional ministry within the church walls. I was called to minister to Law Enforcement Officers where they were, which was at work at a Law Enforcement agency. I view each department that I serve as my “church”, it just happens to be a law enforcement agency. As a former Law Enforcement Officer I was familiar with the issues of being an officer working on patrol and handling calls for service. As time progressed, I noticed myself began to change. I called it becoming a “Human Robot” because once the uniform went on, society treated me as if I was not human anymore, that I should not have any emotions or react to what I was seeing each shift. I was to just do my job and not be affected. I started seeing the toll that was taking on me because I did not have “permission” to release how I felt about what I saw each shift. I did not have a mentor I could talk with and I did not have anyone in my family that was in law enforcement, so I was all alone with no one to talk to for guidance on “how to be a cop” and not let the job negatively impact my life. At the end of each shift we would return to the department to turn in our paperwork. It was a time we all could complain to fellow officers about the calls we had that night, yet the conversations were superficial, there was not anyone there for me to ask deeper questions. For example, how do you handle being an officer, how do you keep your mind healthy with what you see each shift, how do you handle being a female officer on and off the job, what advice do you have for a new officer? I was just trying to figure it on my own. As a former Law Enforcement Officer and now Law Enforcement Chaplain I have such a heart and passion for this ministry because I know how challenging it can be, especially with no one to talk to about it, and that is the heart from which I minister.

I am so thankful that I did not give up on my ministry when so many did not support my calling to the ministry of Law Enforcement Chaplaincy. I thank God that even when committees and boards were telling me, “No.”, God was telling me, “YES!” evidenced by opening amazing doors that I never could have imagined for me to serve as a Chaplain! There were many days that I told myself, even though I am not ordained and others do not believe I should be for this ministry and they could not understand my calling, God is using me in mighty way for His Kingdom. It reminded me, it was not about me, it was about God using me for His purpose, for His ministry, for His people, my Law Enforcement Officers. I knew I had such a heart for officers because I knew the struggle of being one. I know what it was like to wear the uniform and not be seen as a person anymore, just a badge and uniform. I have the heart to support officers and give them the space to ask questions, get angry about the calls they answer and the pain humans inflict on other humans, I understand they are not going crazy. I recognize they are human expressing real emotions that the uniform does not allow them to express. I tell my officers, do your job when you are on scene and do it well, cross every T and dot every I, and then after everything is over, you can contact me and tell me whatever you want to tell me and I will understand where you are coming from and give the space to vent, scream, ask questions and just let out how you are feeling.

I completely relate to what Abu-Jamal said about “having a heart for it” because I have had several officers tell me, they appreciated me because I had been an officer and worn the uniform. I served at a police department that had three other Chaplains, who were all full-time pastors, and had never been a Law Enforcement Officer. They bought a lot to the department as Chaplains, yet several officers told me they appreciated that I brought the extra part, the heart of a former officer, who is now a Chaplain. I am so thankful for this statement from Abu-Jamal making the observation about the Shepherd needing to “have a heart for it” because that is foundational for me as a Chaplain.
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Kimberly Kiefer